A lover of words. True for me and my son. In fact, he created wordalkemy.com.
Karma
How many times have I asked myself, “What did I do to deserve this?” Inherent in this question is the notion of karma and its punishment. Did I have bad karma?
Thankfully, through self-evaluation, therapy, creative arts, and observation of others’ lives, I stopped asking these ridiculous questions and subscribing to karma as punishment. Instead, I now embody a pre-birth planning perspective wherein our souls agree to a distinct blueprint before incarnating based on what we want to work out or evolve through during a lifetime for completion, advancement of “divine virtues” (per Robert Schwartz), resolution, or healing. Karma is integral. I believe we have agreed upon contracts or relationships with specific people such as birth and adoptive parents, siblings, husbands, wives, children, professionals we collaborate with, co-workers, and certain strangers, to help us learn and grow in awareness. Inherent in these relationships are opportunities to experience a myriad of emotions - love, joy, trust, surprise, sorrow, grief, anger, fear, and on and on. In maneuvering through them, we can create more karma that may have to be dealt with during another lifetime when time runs out for this one and the physical body expires.
In analyzing my life of extreme traumas and processing what has happened, I began to connect the dots. In doing so, the glaring question was and still is “What do I need to understand about this?” One unconventional, complicated relationship after another, male and female, with a similar theme of blocking, harassing, and limiting of my voice and potential seemingly in contradiction to my ultimate quest for love, beauty, freedom, and autonomy. This approach of connecting the dots has led to a greater sense of empowerment, trust in my destiny, and belief I am progressing in accordance with Divine Order. Whatever that is!
Vibrancy
A number of years ago, I saw an exhibit at SF Moma of black and white works on paper and canvas. I imagine the artist may have have been influenced by manic moods with the frenzied details throughout her works. Perhaps depression was in play too as she appeared to downplay the significance of color in her statements. Personally, I could not live without the vibrancy color offers.
Dance
Although I posted this Small Charcoal on Instagram in August, 2020, the message is still relevant. Being human at this moment in time is especially challenging. With the multi-directional stimulation, it takes work to rebalance and continually come back to center. This morning I took a zoom dance class and realized I’ve been holding my breath as if hanging onto dear life. It’s amazing how quickly the movement and music extricated me from my mental habits and ensuing emotions and brought me back to breathing, awareness of my miraculous body, and the present moment.
2024
Intuitive Lee Harris said that on a personal level, 2024 will be a year of strength and purpose; on a global level, unexpected shifts and revolution. I’m ready!
Let That Shit Go
I joyfully purchased this wonderful, simple card in a Marin bookstore. As a daily TM practitioner and earth school student, it really resonates.
HOA - Cont'd
Board resignation complete! With utmost integrity, I worked hard and tried my best to move us forward. Now, time to let go.
Although I painted Heavy Cascade following a visit with my ailing Mother and feeling a weight on my shoulders, it’s symbolic of any burden ready to be released.
Color
At the end of a recent Bellicon rebounder class, the ultra-positive trainer said to let color into our lives. I thought of my art.
Divorce And Artistic Expression
“Sometimes we have to go right right into the fire to find our true healing.” Jack Kornfield. I agree, and I did!
High Net Worth Divorce
I’ve been following the divorce proceedings of Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner. Although dollar amounts differ, they are quite familiar and triggering. Being a realist, I think she may be up shit creek without a paddle. She signed a horrible prenup 18 years ago that, of course, strategically favored him. Then, she chose full-time homemaking including birthing and raising 3 children. In my experience, the patriarchal family law legal system in California is unquestionably rigged in favor of the male provider. Per the Leland’s Journal March/April 1998 (Stanford Magazine), Economist Myra Strober said “Full-time homemaking is probably the riskiest occupation around. It has no protections except the ones that the courts give it.” Courts meaning judges with unlimited discretionary power. Add to this that she left him and now vengeance, ego, and retaliation might be in play.
At some point, she likely will understand that when there’s a divorce, status changes with lifestyles impacted. Having been in a similar position, I feel empathy and compassion for her. Judging from the prenup arrangements, for her to potentially walk away with so little is ridiculous.
With full understanding of the enormity of the process she initiated, she is a courageous woman to choose freedom!