How Did A Sensitive Boy Become A Hardened, Cold Disconnected Man?

On Memorial Day, as I was scanning The Daily episodes, one from the previous day popped up. Normally I don’t listen to the weekend versions but this one piqued my interest - “Modern Love” - Why Boys and Men Are floundering. Therapist Terry Real was interviewed and explained why. Much of what he said corroborated my assessment from being in an unhealthy marital relationship that, unfortunately, ended in a discordant divorce. Listening to him, I felt happy to gain greater clarity.

He mentioned he worked with a couple who had seen 8 therapists and not one of them supported the woman and confronted the man. Well, that was my story too! A plethora who could not help because they could not tell truth to power under the patriarchy. He offered important information like it’s easy to say a woman suffers from depression while the men do not. But, the men are drinking. He maintains that “substance abuse, rage, affairs are fueled by depression and underneath depression is trauma.” (Similar to Dr. Gabor Mate’s rhetoric.) He added, “the consequence of a disconnected boy is a disconnected man.” Interestingly, in grappling with husband’s punitive behavior during the divorce, I created this work in 2014 using acrylic pens, oil crayon, and blue duct tape posing this primary question. My work still seems to be relevant.