On July 12th, I woke up feeling anxious. Anger quickly seeped into the mix. (Most likely sadness was an underlying emotion, but I wasn't able to access it.) An image of my mother who passed away 5 months ago loomed large in my mind. She was a complicated woman and highly enigmatic for me, a super sensitive being. Anyway, I began my practices - meditation and exercise - hoping to thwart the uncomfortable feelings. Then, I jumped into my vehicle as I had the usual Thursday appointment with my therapist. Perfect, Tommy, Perfect!

All of a sudden, I started screaming (a no-no my voice teacher says for vocal chords) and swearing at Mom, Dad, and a few others. I completely let my mouth rip! This went on for the 25 minute trip. In spite of a twinge of vocal chord strain, I felt so liberated. I had actually allowed myself to wildly express my anger in absolute safety knowing other drivers couldn't listen and that Mom and Dad were in the etheric realm of unconditional love where they could finally hear me.

Giving myself permission to engage in this screaming was a cleansing that gave way to enormously joyous and productive following days. Forget thwarting. It's about accepting and moving through what is in various ways. I shall remember the value of this fit along with taking the toy bat and beating my duvet. An advisor recommended I also break things, like throwing dishes on the ground, as a kinetic exercise to flush out and release any longstanding issues/old irritants.