A few days ago I engaged in a phone consultation with an art advisor with the goal of advancing my art career. I felt excited and open, ready to hear inspiring, detailed recommendations. What I got was the opposite with red flags from the get-go! Ever so optimistic, I kept thinking the conversation would take a positive turn. Acting more like an art critic, he had nothing positive to say about my work, my websites, etc. One of his final comments was that I had this Jackson Pollack thing going on, but he is the master. It took an hour of listening to this guy’s disorganized and negative comments before I told him our session was over.

Although I realized during our one-sided conversation wherein he was talking rapidly “at” me, that this guy was not a match in any way, shape or form, I allowed him in enough to cause damage to my sense of self and value. My psyche attempted a rescue via an early morning dream with a scene of being on my bicycle riding through Pacific Heights only to find myself in the middle of gunfire between 2 opposing groups and forced to abandon my bike and slither along the ground to safety. Even though the theme of “being in the line of fire” was unmistakable, I found myself sleeping the next afternoon away. Creativity was dead in the water!

Yesterday was a much better day. For starters, I had extra sleep, always a mood enhancer. I focused on what I know - that I may get knocked down but I always get right back up. And, when I get back up, I am filled with greater determination and unstoppable energy. I know I will find a collaborator that is a match.

Also, from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I am reminded once again, “Do not indulge or tolerate anyone who throws cold water in your direction”.