Explosive breakthrough and breakup!
Hospital Visit
Right as I arrived last night at the hospital ward, a group of visitors walked by. Hearing a loud splat, I looked over and saw that a large container of soup slipped out of a bag and spilled all over the seemingly new blue carpet. As everyone scurried for the clean-up, all I could say was OOPS!
Beautiful Boy
This is one of my favorite John Lennon songs and a tribute to his son. The lyrics include the famous line, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”
As I’ve been involved in a family medical emergency for the past 3 weeks, this is certainly my situation. I was zooming along making exciting plans artistically and in other areas of my life and, BOOM, something totally unexpected! Everything immediately got put on hold to be available to help. In this ongoing, unknown, sometimes frightening process, I feel a bit discombobulated. I keep reminding myself what is happening right now, in this moment, is my life and that’s all that matters, along with maintaining my stability, breathing rather than holding my breath, and taking time to meditate, eat healthily, and sleep. Other than that, it’s praying and trusting in the Divine.
Who knows what creative impulses will emerge from this.
Oops
A grand vision includes an OOPS art piece in as many homes as possible. So, I’m painting a lot of them. For clarification, my positive intention for Oops is to offer understanding and correction of a mindset or behavior. Stealing, lying, or hurting someone and then uttering Oops are not what this is about. Further, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “Oops is a natural exclamation used typically to express mild apology, surprise, or dismay.”
Oops Art - About
Just revised this page again. Step by step, my intention is to advance.
Full Circle
On the heels of the last 2 posts, here’s a piece called “Magnificent, Fascinating, Perilous Moments” from spontaneous writing in 2013. Perhaps, though, the more appropriate title now is “Full Circle” because I have come full circle back to the Source of it all - Dad, Mom, family of origin and my karma. Karma in the sense of the ups and downs that need to be worked through in this lifetime for the evolution of my being - rites of passage such as family, marriage, childbirth, divorce, and the passing of parents in order to come into full being. For me, I have needed the completion of these to be a “daughter of life” and move into the next cycle of my empowerment and career house.
The words are: “Magnificent, fascinating, perilous moments facing the edge, standing in full embodiment on the edge, the edge of what? Well, the edge of life of course in fear and doubt and unknowingness. It’s the terrifying quality of being immersed in the unknown, the unknowing, and scared to death hoping and sometimes praying that death would knock at the door for a reprieve, for restoration, for peace, calm and relief. Big time relief. Relief of enormity for rest, for breath, for a chance to recover and recoup love, understanding, full forgiveness and compassion for myself and all that has bound and for all those whose intent is to bind, control, have dominion and great power over. Yes, the many magnificent, fascinating and perilous moments facing the edge, being on the edge of life and all that life delivers in an attempt to shake up and open eyes and heart to the great potential of all that exists. No easy feat. No easy feat to stand tall, to stand firm and face squarely what needs to be grappled with, what needs to be revealed, what wants to be revealed. No easy feat at all and not for one minute something for the faint of heart, for what is necessary is courageous, persistent thought and action in order to persevere in great triumph with utmost tenacity to movement, to growth, to expansion. Yes, expansion. Exposure and expansion sometimes via trials by fire and water, connecting the dots, surprising synchronicities, movement and magnificence. To explore full and true power, the power to affect in the most beneficial way mankind and life. To see, to feel, to grow, to understand, to embrace tenacity to do whatever it takes, whatever it takes to be wide awake in the moment and to understand all that goes on and needs confronting is for the purpose of awakening, of being fully awake no matter what. It’s about letting go constantly and adamantly to everything and all that no longer serves, no longer offers gifts, health, love, and happiness. Go for it! With magnificent, fascinating, perilous moments in and of our lives. Yes!”
Metamorphosis
As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog post and the title of this 22 x 30 inch acrylic and charcoal work on paper:
Gallery Visit And Clarity
A friend sent a text recommending a gallery in Marin. She said it would be perfect for my “masterpieces.” She’s such a dear friend, fan of my art and, unquestionably, an ardent supporter. So, a couple of days ago I visited the gallery, viewed the pleasant exhibit and engaged in a conversation with the very lovely owner. After revealing that I am an artist looking for my niche, admittedly, my ensuing “pitch” was awkward. Definitely room for improvement there! At any rate, she said it was very hard for a gallerist to sell the works of an artist without history. I told her I understood and asked if I could give her my card.
Other than last year’s pop-up show, my history is the 10 years I have worked and developed a body of art (as well as associated writings); a testament to and chronicle of my journey through marriage, divorce, coming to terms with and understanding all the losses of my life, childhood trauma and familial betrayal - all for the benefit of metamorphosis and transcendence.
My art is about healing, a universal journey. My art is what healing looks like - the pain, frustration and ugliness of being torn apart over and over and over in the process of dismantling any part of my life that’s out of integrity and alignment while taking steps to remember and express the ever present, omnipresent illumination, joy, beauty and freedom.
So, the visit rendered clarity. I don’t fit in the typical gallery/artist/history paradigm of making art for cyclical shows with the intention of sellouts and building resumes. Do I hope to sell my pieces? Yes, in combination with a fundamental intention to spark connection, conversation, change and inspire others to forge ahead with resiliency, courage, and vision.
"Woman's Journey To Herself"
On the recommendation of a dear, extraordinary psychologist, I just read the book, Circle Of Stones by Judith Duerk. Although every word on every page resonates with me, I especially love this: “And if ever the fear or nagging guilt comes that she has meaninglessly isolated herself or become quiescent, she need only remember from the study of alchemy that, even while the individual works diligently and waits prayerfully for inner transformation and wholeness, her work is reflected in a transformation in the greater realm: the wholeness manifesting in the life of one individual becomes a microcosm of wholeness effecting alchemical change in the macrocosm of the outer realm . . . wholeness begetting wholeness. Woman, with a candle lighted to help her keep faith with her own life . . . a centered presence spreading in concentric circles from her.”
Quite honestly, there have been many moments when I have lost faith in myself and Divine presence/guidance and have questioned my self-imposed periods of isolation. At some point, they do transition to moments of awareness and recognition that it’s been absolutely essential to dive deeper and deeper within and grapple with the wounding, betrayal, lack of safety, and travail involving family and ex for the goals of healing and transcendence. I think the above-mentioned quote perfectly corroborates and encapsulates the rise.
Hmm, I could attach Phoenix, but I think my work Emergence once again prevails.
Oops Art
In yesterday’s conversation with the art advisor, I described my art as a transmission of sorts and vehicle for connection, conversation and change and mentioned, as an example, the backstory for OOPS. He then astutely pointed out that no where on my oops-art website is any mention of that; essentially meaning there was a disconnect. I actually felt relieved to hear this as I’ve been somewhat dancing around experiences and issues and have felt confused about what to reveal where especially because I have a book preview in process also.
Well, feeling motivated, I just revised my Oops-art “About” page. As part of the narrative, I’m reposting these images from the 6/17/19 post. This first one, “Petitioner v. Respondent”, is the true catalyst.
