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Yesterday I saw a rare occurrence - a spider crawling on my bathroom floor. I have never been afraid of these arachnids. Primarily because they’re beneficial creatures that eat pesky insects like mosquitoes, flies, moths, silverfish, etc. As I was traumatized by mosquitoes growing up, I welcome them.
This is a photo I took at my former house.
Spontaneous cursive writing in acrylic overlaying Oops.
As this lifetime has been punctuated by a very complicated set of contracts, I know a lot about this. It’s been no easy feat to extricate myself from birth family, spouse, and certain friends who have blocked my voice and success. My dogged determination to align with my integrity and speak out keeps me going.
Similar to others, this acrylic work can be rotated for visual appeal. Although barely visible in this image, text is incorporated in it.
Word of the day from Dictionary.com. “The labor involved in maintaining and enhancing family ties, including organizing social occasions, remembering birthdays, sending gifts, etc.” Oh my goodness! On the heels of subterfuge, birth family kinkeeping is not happening!
Word of the day from Dictionary.com. “An artifice or expedient used to evade a rule, escape a consequence, hide something, etc.” For me, this word coincides with purloin referenced in a previous post.
Following my mother’s death, I received a “Petition for order instructing trustee to abate residuary gift to petitioner, abate general pecuniary gift to Karen Justis and distribute specific gift of real property to petitioner.” This petition to rescind the sum bequeathed to me was, in essence, a second subterfuge used by my 16-month older sister and her twin sons to steal my inheritance. The first one was the scheme to transfer the deed of mother’s high-value property outside her will thereby omitting as an asset. Consequently, it was not available to meet commitments or legacies. All contingent upon absconding liquid assets and the elder financial abuse that I witnessed for years from sisterhood of 3.
My sisters and I experienced the same childhood traumas, upheavals, dysfunction, and craziness; yet, we have responded differently. With victim mentality, fear of survival, getting and having enough, and wicked jealousy in play, they became liars, cheaters, and stealers. I always wished the best for them, but this was certainly not reciprocal. I feel particularly sorry for the mastermind, 16-month older vitriolic sister, for her many wrongdoings, including with Power of Attorney, forbidding the hospice social worker for our mother from speaking with me.
With many despondent days, it took an entire year to process and come to terms with the shattering, deep utter betrayal, and familial loss. The final nail in the coffin! Ultimately and sadly, this turned out to not be a good sisterhood with contact completely severed. Truth be told, I was always different and never really fit in with the family once Dad died. He was my beloved, sole ally. My everything! I now realize my observations and feelings of sadness, disconnect, and aloneness as a child and adolescent were right on. It was not safe for me to be in that household. So, liberation! Moving forward, other than speaking out with acknowledgement and noting prevalence of elder financial abuse, for reverberations, I invoke a higher, perhaps more divine order of karmic law. Presumably, we don’t get away with anything.
This is a black-and-white situation.
With Gaza on my mind, my heart goes out to all who have lost their important lives and the myopic, needless continuance.
The power of one looms large.
What have I learned from this condo transaction? A lot!
For starters, vet realtors more carefully and pay attention when interviewing. The one I chose was highly recommended by a friend. This realtor’s initial callback to me started out by her telling me she had just come from the doctor, she had breast cancer, and I was the first one she told. As I was sitting at a dealership waiting for my vehicle to be serviced, I felt stunned to hear this and very sorry for her. I also thought it was highly inappropriate to disclose this to me as our first introduction; in essence, dump it on me, a stranger and prospective business client. With compassion, I told myself this was a red flag and not use her. Conversely, months before, I had also contacted another realtor who previously rented an apartment to me right after fleeing my marriage. She was into numerology, and had high integrity in making sure what was purchased was a match with her clients. It was my error in bypassing her and succumbing to a friend’s influence. My initial response was right on. I learned, once again, how critical it is to follow my knowing and intuition.
As a buyer, examine meticulously the prospective purchase. Review pertinent documents and history whether it be a condo or house. With dubious disclosures, ask questions and make sure to get answers. Hire an independent contractor to inspect. Optimally, to facilitate these action steps, it’s best to not to be in a desperate situation and rush into a sale.
Pay attention to the fees at escrow closing, what’s included and what isn’t in the escrow documents. No easement documents with details were provided by the title company, the seller, and realtors. Unknowingly, I was also charged for a title company insurance policy.
Avoid using Fidelity National Title Company or any other title company that has in-house counsel. Per previous post regarding the incorrect Grand Deed and resulting issues, referencing the policy I paid for, I filed an insurance claim. There were months of no to poor communication followed by a direct denial of my claim. What a rigged system! I consulted with a real estate attorney who told me Fidelity National Title Company is so large and has a reputation for denying claims. Although I had a solid case against the company, I knew it would be cost prohibitive to pay a real estate attorney at an hourly rate because I was up against a company with a whole department of attorneys who were paid to delay proceedings and have the upper hand in prevailing. This set up does not allow for a level playing field and accountability. To reiterate, Fidelity National Title Company screwed up so badly, avoid at all costs!
Pay close attention to any red flags no matter how seemingly small. With the condo purchase and the last minute call, the property manager was part of the failure. She set the tone of the building and, as it turned out, was inept. So many frustrating issues were not resolved, she treated owners with annoyance, disregard, etc.
Trust and check in continually with inner knowing or intuition at each juncture of the housing process. Follow accordingly.
Do not buy another condo or house where there is an HOA (Homeowner’s Association.) Typically, the Board of Directors are dysfunctional and without vision of a well-run organization. With utmost clarity now, as autonomy is crucial to my well-being, I must have the power to govern and make decisions to ensure my safety and security. With the HOA situation, that is sorely hampered to non-existent, therefore, highly agitating.
On this journey of housing forgiveness, year 9, keep working to have self-compassion and compassion for all associated with this organization. Remember the power of Oops as segue to levity and higher awareness.
Keep focused on launching my creative projects and rising to inspiring possibilities. A home aligned with my sense of beauty and sensitivities will surely follow.
Finally, in acknowledgement of Easter Sunday, resurrection, and accepting new life and renewal, I’m reminded of Maya Angelou’s poem, “Still I Rise.”
The night before closing of escrow, I got a call from my real estate agent. She informed me the seller, the seller’s agent, and the property manager of the building had failed to disclose that the designated parking space and storage unit for the condo were not included in the sale ratification. These were deeded easements, and separate, additional yearly fees were charged by the commercial owner.
Utterly befuddled and unaware of this type of provision, I inquired further about the ramifications. My agent’s response was a repeat of the word easements combined with a statement I could get out of the deal with a full refund of my escrow deposit. When I then asked what she would do if she was in my situation, she gave a noncommittal answer. I told her this was not happy news, I would sleep on it, and give her my answer in the morning.
I felt furious to find out my ratified offer, which was way over the asking price, did not include these essential components and more fees were to be added on top of the HOA dues. At the height of the real estate market, my bid was one of 5. Surely, the other bidders were assuming and including ownership of the garage space and storage unit too. Even though I stated a limit, true to form, my realtor insisted I present a specific, higher offer to get the condo. In an unsustainable living situation and trusting her, I acquiesced.
Then, months later with various movers scheduled and packing nearly complete, I get this call at the last minute. As I had given notice to my rental landlord and needed to move, I felt desperate and really did not know what to do. Was this a sign from the invisible world and my Guidance of trouble brewing? Should I bow out of the deal? Having been relegated to two rentals since the divorce and selling my house, the thought of going through the arduous process of finding and moving to yet another rental was far from appealing. I felt terrified, unsure, and confused with home insecurity looming large once again. I had a horrible night’s sleep.
The next morning, I spoke to my realtor and, as a compromise, negotiated a small cash back from the seller and realtors to help offset the additional garage and storage charges. Then I showed up at the title company and signed the escrow documents. I had convinced myself that this condo was to be only a 2 year deal because, surely, my life would change dramatically and positively; thus, I could handle any fallout.
It turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes/miscalculations of my independent life (sans husband). For starters, it’s been 9 years, not 2, and, for the duration, the easement arrangements have presented daily problems. In addition to garage spaces and storage units, the garage owner owns the gate to the driveway, the driveway, and garage doors. They have been in such poor condition consistently malfunctioning and continually allowing for breaches in safety and security for the building. A major part of infrastructure that we residents have no control over. To add to this unfavorable arrangement, the owner is an absentee, disinterested landlord, leaving us to fend for ourselves time and time again.
Compounding matters further, I found out early last year that the Grant Deed issued to me by the title company was incorrect. It stipulated easement document numbers that were for a different unit. For months, I worked and pushed Fidelity National Title Company to reissue and rerecord a revised deed and, accordingly, provide supporting easement documents. I got it done. So, when I sell, all the documents are now in order and correct.
In essence, this condo purchase was the sum total of serious mistakes made by many people involved in the sale. They got paid for their incompetence, lack of care, and oversight. The whole experience of transacting business with an untruthful seller, an inadequate property manager, inattentive realtors, and an established escrow company negligent in providing accurate documentation has been shocking. To my chagrin, quite eye opening too!
Ultimately, I hold myself accountable for choosing my cavalier realtor and making the decision to go through with the sale not fully understanding that getting a call right before escrow closed was indeed a tip to get out no matter how challenging. Ah, the movie Get Out!
And, yay, for the housing market lawsuit and elimination of the 6% fee.
I enjoyed listening to The Daily podcast on 3/20/24 about the extraordinary legal settlement with the NAR (National Association of Realtors) that will have far reaching effects on the buying and selling of properties. For starters, the standard 6% sales commission has been eliminated. Congratulations to the personal injury lawyer who filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of home sellers in Missouri, took on NAR’s high-powered corporate lawyers, and prevailed, thereby busting the decades-long rigged system.
Referencing Freakonomics and the chapter on real estate agents, in selling and purchasing homes, I have not yet enjoyed the process and found a realtor who truly deserved the high commissions. Now, with this settlement and ensuing changes, I remain hopeful for my upcoming sale.
